30-Something Voters Who No Longer Stay Out Until 3am Depressed To Find Themselves Supporting Purachai

BANGKOK – The upcoming July election has revealed yet another wrinkle in Thailand’s socio-economic fabric as urban middle-class voters who used to party all night but who have since settled into mature, responsible lifestyles find themselves painfully and reluctantly attracted to Purachai Piumsombun. “I can’t believe I’m saying this, but he’s the best choice,” said Suchada Nantakarn,... 

Thailand’s First Female PM?

If the Pheu Thai party wins, Yingluck Shinawatra would be Thailand’s first female PM. What do you think? Vorawan Miaow Fritzl PAD cartoonist Hi-so student Sex tourist “A woman? How are we supposed to make a woman look like Hitler?” “I’m proud of my country for promoting gender equality among billionaires.” “As long as the other 33,654,902 Thai women remain powerless,... 

Chalerm Promises Amnesty To PAD, UDD, And Anyone Who Shoots A Cop In The Face

BANGKOK – Chalerm Yubamruang affirmed the Pheu Thai Party plans for a blanket amnesty yesterday with a specific announcement that, if elected on July 3 and permitted to form a government, the party would immediately draw up a law giving amnesty for all of those who have been affected by the Sept 19, 2006 coup, or who shoots a police officer in the face. As head of the party’s legal team, Chalerm... 

Abhisit Promises To Look Less Awkward In Photos If Re-Elected

BANGKOK – In a major policy announcement today, the Democrat Party presented a three-phase, two-year plan to drastically improve the way Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva appears in photographs, digital images and video. “We have listened to the people of Thailand, and they are telling us that ‘Mark’ looks very uncomfortable in pictures,” said Deputy PM Suthep Thaugsuban, referring to Abhisit... 

Security Tightened Around Obese Tourists

BANGKOK – Police have upgraded their security around fat foreigners following the killing of wanted terrorist suspect Osama bin Laden in by US Special Forces in Pakistan. Although there is no specific evidence of a threat against Thailand, the government has urged heightened vigilance for possible revenge attacks on US-based targets such as the American Embassy and really fat white people. “Embassies...