WASHINGTON DC – The Democratic Party has agreed on a compromise that will allow Florida and Michigan delegates to occupy obstructed view seats as well “any empty seats left vacant by delegates from other states who fail to show up by intermission.”
The agreement, which ends weeks of speculation about whether or not Florida’s and Michigan’s delegates will be allowed to attend the convention, was set in motion after front-runner Barack Obama agreed that “Florida is okay. Sure, Florida can come.”
Democratic party chairman Howard Dean called the proposal “a slam dunk for all sides” and said that “this solution will allow Florida and Michigan delegates to enjoy the convention too.”
“We looked at the map of the Pepsi Center in Denver and noticed that there was a whole section of seats behind the convention stage, some right next to the speakers and a scattering of seats behind concrete pylons that we didn’t think we could use. Given the unexpected demand from Michigan and Florida delegates to attend the convention, we decided we should just make them available.”
Florida and Michigan delegates initially rejected the idea, claiming that they would not be able to see the candidates and thus the atmosphere would “suck.”
Dean clinched the deal by allowing any Florida and Michigan delegates to claim seats left empty by delegates of other states, if they were still empty by the time Nancy Pelosi spoke midway through the convention. This convinced the delegates it would be worth making the the trip out West.
Said one delegate from Michigan: “I just hope enough people don’t show up so I can get a regular seat but even if I am sitting behind a network cameraman or whatever it will be sweet just to be there and hear everything.”
Some analysts said seating delegates from Florida and Michigan in the areas reserved for other states could create confusion.
Dean responded, “We know that but to be honest the entire process is fucked. Will it really make a difference if some guy from Florida takes the seat of some guy from New Jersey who didn’t show?”
