NAKHON RATCHASIMA — Thailand’s 2nd Army Region commander, Lt Gen Boonsin Padklang, was declared in perfect health Thursday, despite a Cambodian death ritual in which shamans repeatedly stabbed and ultimately torched a poster of his likeness. The ceremony, led by Col Shaman Chhorn Dara of the Supreme Curse Division and Lt Col Shaman Vann Sothearith of the 2nd Necromancy Battalion, featured chanting, a ritual trident, and a choreographed sequence of blows delivered to an oversized polyvinyl photograph of Boonsin before it was set ablaze. Dara insisted the rite should have worked, noting that “my family has cursed generals the same way for generations,” while Sothearith complained that his calculations placed Boonsin’s rotting corpse “somewhere near kilometer marker 112 by now.” Army physician Col Dr. Preecha Wattanakul dismissed concerns with a wave of his hand after a brief check-up, saying the commander’s only weakness was “a mild obsession with Nescafé Red.” The incident follows a pattern of increasingly baroque tactics along the Cambodian border, where shamans have been deployed as auxiliary forces despite mixed results. At press time, six Royal Thai Air Force F-16s had departed Ubon airbase fully loaded with GBU-12 Paveway II bombs, with instructions to “show them what real black magic looks like.”
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