BANGKOK — Following the passing of Her Majesty Queen Sirikit The Queen Mother, Thailand’s ancient corruption infrastructure has rumbled back to life, emitting the familiar scent of overpriced contracts and ceremonial graft. Officials report that as soon as the palace announced her death, centuries-old gears beneath the Treasury began to turn, automatically approving inflated budgets for crematorium construction, commemorative coins, and 12-part TV dramas about filial piety. Royal family historian Chalermsak Wongsuwan explained that the “sacred machinery of graft” has been maintained continuously since the Ayutthaya Kingdom, when nobles first discovered that national mourning provided excellent cover for creative accounting. “Each gear is lubricated by tears and procurement markups,” he said, gesturing reverently toward the Ministry of Culture. Technicians have already begun fine-tuning the patronage pumps to ensure that donations, subsidies, and ‘symbolic’ consulting fees flow smoothly to the appropriate families. “The people mourn, the elites profit,” Chalermsak added. “It’s how we honor our ancestors.”
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