I’m not one to complain, but someone really should do something about these street stalls on Sukhumvit Road. They completely block the path which is intended for pedestrians, and worse, the touts make a complete nuisance of themselves. I mean really, how many times do you have to tell some chump that I’m not interested in wooden elephants and silk scarves? You’d think they’d remember my face. I walk down this street practically every day at happy hour. Hey pal, I didn’t want to “take a look, sir” yesterday –what makes you think I want to now? Idiot.
I may just write a firmly worded letter to the editor about it.
I’ve done it before – lots of times. Nothing like the power of the free press to get the message out there, and show everyone that while other expats may be willing to take these injustices lying down, Bob Arnold will not. Like the time I wrote in complaining about the stray dogs that bark at me on my own soi. Those mangy mutts act like the street belongs to them, and probably have rabies to boot. But does the Bangkok City Service, or whatever the local government is called, do anything about it? Of course not. They probably have some weird Buddhist commandment about letting dogs poop wherever they want. Well, did they ever think about the threat a rabid dog could pose to tourists or children?
They do now. Because I reported it.
And don’t get me started on two-tier pricing. This country runs entirely on tourist dollars –that’s a statistical fact – and yet they charge innocent foreigners ten times as much to get into attractions like the Grand Palace, a shame which was harshly revealed to the English-speaking public by yours truly. And visas! The way the government makes us jump through hoops to just stay here, you’d think they wanted us all to leave and go to Malaysia – a very real possibility that I cleverly pointed out in a letter I wrote last year. I believe my exact words were, “If Thailand continues to treat us like undesirables, wait until they see how ‘desirable’ their economy will look when we take our money and job-creating businesses to a fair-minded country like Malaysia.” You can bet that caught the attention of the bigwigs in the Ministry of Immigration. Those guys all read the papers, especially the English-language ones, because they know investors around the world read them. That’s why, whenever possible, I compare Thailand’s shortcomings to more advanced places like Singapore, or America. Those kinds of comments get things done.
And it’s not just farang subjects that get my journalistic attention. As a long-term expat who truly loves this country, more than most locals it seems, I also like to shine the light of truth on important causes that directly benefit the wonderful Thai people. Like litter on the beaches or traffic in Bangkok, or even the corruption in the government itself. Yes, that’s right, I’m not afraid to point out some insightful and devastating truths to open up people’s eyes. I can’t remember how many times I’ve written that “Thailand will never become a world power until it deals with its culture of corruption at home.” A culture of corruption! I invented that phrase, in 2002. It gets right to the heart of the issue. I’ve also warned Thai parents about not feeding their kids fast food, and wished a very happy birthday to His Majesty the King.
Some people say that as a guest in this country I should keep my mouth shut, but that’s totally bullshit. I pay some taxes, or at least VAT, and that gives me some rights to say what I think. And I run a document translation business, which creates three whole full-time paying jobs for Thais. I also pay rent, and support dozens of businesses from restaurants to travel agencies to taxi drivers. I even send money every month to my girlfriend’s family in Buri Ram. In other words, unlike so many lazy Thais who think things are just fine, I’ve always been part of the solution. And exercising my free speech in the free press is part of that.
After I send a letter to the editor, I eagerly check the paper the next day to see if they printed it yet. They almost always do. I think they must know my name by now and have given me a fast-track status as a valued contributor. When I see someone else reading the letters section of the paper, say at Starbucks, it’s always tempting to say to him, “You know, I wrote that.” But I never do, because it’s not about credit. It’s about improving our world. Of course, when I chat with someone about issues that my letters have covered, of course I’ll mention that. Just to give some historical perspective, so he knows that I’m not just some drunk punter but the original Bob Arnold. Even strangers will respect you more knowing that you’re a real writer.
Sometimes I think I should take all my letters and collect them for a book, like the ones I see for sale at the Bookazine next to Tony Roma’s. A lot of expats have written about their experiences here. Mine would be more serious though, not about bargirls and drugs. More of a journalism book, with a real social angle. A good title could be “Concerned Citizen: One Decade of Bob’s Observations”. People would recognize the name, I’m sure, because unlike some serial letter-writers who hide behind pseudonyms, I always use my full name, proudly and courageously.
The only problem with a book would be that once it’s published, it wouldn’t include all the new letters I’d written since, and the ones I’m planning to write. I have so many issues that I can’t wait to bring to the public’s attention: The rude behavior of bus drivers, the loud music played outdoors, the unreliability of my internet service, the poor coverage of world sporting events on UBC cable, and my personal view on the Suvarnabhumi debacle (part of my “Culture of Corruption” series.) Perhaps I should start a blog.
But right now I need to get started on this letter about the street stalls. I’ve got this great angle: Right now the stalls are absent on Mondays, which happens to be the day all Thais wear yellow to show their love for the King, also born on a Monday. I’ll cleverly tie them together by saying, “Has anyone noticed that the King’s day is also the one day we’re free of the oppression of street stalls?”
God, I’m good.
