Canadian Martha Herkimer has surprised experts and local residents by defying a long-established pattern and successfully maintaining a positive attitude and image of herself while living in Thailand.
Despite several years in a largely male-dominated community that constantly issues unspoken but unmistakable negative evaluations of her appearance and general worth in comparison to local women, Herkimer, who is from London, Ontario, has somehow not internalized such criticisms and avoided the precipitous plunge in self-esteem that most white females experience after moving here.
Canadian Martha Herkimer has surprised experts and local residents by defying a long-established pattern and successfully maintaining a positive attitude and image of herself while living in Thailand.
Despite several years in a largely male-dominated community that constantly issues unspoken but unmistakable negative evaluations of her appearance and general worth in comparison to local women, Herkimer, who is from London, Ontario, has somehow not internalized such criticisms and avoided the precipitous plunge in self-esteem that most white females experience after moving here.
Herkimer’s success in keeping an affirmative mental picture of herself is exceptional as in all other ways her case is typical of the female farang experience.
While friends from Ontario claim that Herkimer was considered “pretty,” the 32-year-old graphic designer has been unable to find a boyfriend since moving to Bangkok four years ago.
“I never had a problem finding guys back home,” she said. “But here there just aren’t that many single guys.” In fact, most of her male friends and the men she works with are not in steady relationships, yet none has ever indicated any interest whatsoever in the single white woman.
Remarkably, Herkimer’s long nights of solitude while living in a city infamous for its wild nightlife and bustling commercial sex industry have left her soul uncrushed.
Friends say Herkimer has not yet attempted to compensate for her inability to interest farang men by engaging in humiliating episodes of attention-seeking, such as drunkenly removing her shirt and clambering onto the stage of a go-go bar to arrhythmically shift her heavy frame among the stable of bored-but-still-sexy bar girls.
Herkimer, unlike many of her friends, has also not resorted to promiscuity, nor slashing her personal standards to accommodate any man who might somehow find her the least bit attractive, and never hunting unsuspecting male tourists in the backpacker districts for intoxicated, careless and regret-laden intercourse.
In fact, Herkimer rarely thinks of the sex she has not enjoyed since she moved here, even though the male foreigners at the web development company she works for often loudly exchange bawdy stories of drug-soaked escapades with prostitutes.
“She seems pretty nice. I don’t really know her that well,” said Matthew Broadus, 28, who has worked in a cubicle beside Herkimer for two and a half years. “What’s her name again?”
But experts caution that Herkimer may be heading for a breakdown. “It’s almost inconceivable that she can remain totally unaffected by how poorly her sweaty, hulking figure compares to those of the much more slender and lithe Thai women who surround her,” says Dr. Thanawat Tepchai, a clinical psychologist. “I mean, how can she not be sickened by her blotchy face and hairy forearms when everyday she must witness the smooth, faultless skin of the local women that all her male friends date?”
Dr. Thanawat added, “It may be that she is unconsciously suppressing her anguish, which could eventually explode and result in a series of self-destructive acts, such as throwing herself from an upper-story window of an RCA nightclub in front of all her friends.
