National Parks Chief Demolished For Encroaching On National Bribery Areas

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BANGKOK – Today the government took the extraordinary step of demolishing the director of the Department of National Parks, Wildlife and Plant Conservation (DNP) for repeated violations of established bribery precedents.

Damrong Phidet was convicted of nine counts of encroaching protected Bribery Areas when he ordered the destruction of large, profitable hotel resorts owned by powerful business interests who had paid government officials to allow them to build inside national parks.

“We regret having to demolish a government bureaucrat of such high ranking, but it’s in the interest of the nation that we prioritize our sacred graft areas,” explained Cote Trachoo, the permanent secretary for the Natural Resources and Environment Ministry.

“We have to set an example that such encroachment will not be tolerated,” he added.

At 9 a.m. Thursday, movers were sent into Damrong’s office to dismantle his file cabinets and disconnect his phone and LAN cable. Despite protests from his staff, the workers forcibly took apart all functional aspects of the workspace, rendering it useless and inactive. The locks were then changed and Damrong’s keypass code deactivated.

The press was invited to witness the demolition, which the Natural Resources and Environment Ministry called “proof that we are serious about protecting the kingdom’s assets.”

In a released statement, the Yingluck government praised the demolition, asserting that the protected Bribery Areas were a non-negotiable part of Thailand’s precious heritage and enduring culture. The statement also promised to rebuild the destroyed hotels and “restore the natural environmental balance of corruption and exploitation to our Kingdom.”

In a rare case of opposition approval, the Democrat Party has extended its endorsement of the demolition. However, party leader Abhisit Vejjajiva condemned the Yingluck government for not going far enough.

“If Yingluck really cared about protecting Thailand’s graft, she would dismantle the Department of National Parks, Wildlife and Plant Conservation entirely,” he said. “The mere existence of this kind of non-profit oversight is an invitation for future abuse.”

Although completely demolished, Damrong vowed to take the case to court, claiming that his encroachment was legal. However, legal experts have cast doubt on the strength of his case, citing decades of Thai legal precedent.

“The courts have been consistent on this matter since the 1940s,” said one retired judge. “The written law won’t save you when you break the unwritten rules.”

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