HM the Queen to Preside Over 18,300 Funerals of Victims of War on Drugs, Southern Insurgency, Poverty, Chalerm’s Sons

Her Majesty to graciously acknowledge the failure of government policies in non-partisan gesture of royal sympathy

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BANGKOK – In a follow-up to this week’s decision to attend the cremation of Angkana Radubpanya-avut, who was killed when police dispersed anti-government protesters near the Parliament on October 7, Her Majesty The Queen has decided to also attend the funerals or funeral anniversaries of every other innocent victim of the failures of the state government and the patronage system over the last ten years.

“Her Majesty is very concerned about the welfare of the people of Thailand, and any suffering they have experienced,” said a royal spokesperson. “And since the Royal Family is completely non-political, it is only right that she distribute her sympathy to all victims equally.”

Starting in November, Her Majesty will begin a tour of the entire Kingdom, presiding over the funerals and anniversary observances of approximately 18,300 Thais known to have died at the hands of the police, the Army, paramilitary forces, Muslim insurgents, assassins working for corrupt businessmen, hazardous working conditions caused by abused labor laws, malnutrition due to insufficient welfare programs, and Interior Minister Chalerm Yubamrung’s two homicidal sons Duang and Wan.

The first event which will be blessed by The Queen’s attendance will be the funeral of Jaruek Rangcharoen, the Matichon reporter who was shot on September 27 while investigating local government corruption in Suphanburi. The Queen hopes that her presence will demonstrate that the royal family has never accepted corruption and fully endorses a free and aggressive investigative press.

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A spokesperson for Queen Sirikit reminded the public that her attendance at the funeral was not a token gesture by the monarchy

Next, the Queen will attend a memorial service for lawyer Somchai Neelaphaijit, who disappeared in 2004 while providing legal representation for accused Muslim insurgents in the South. While Her Majesty is there, she will also attend memorial services for the 85 people who were killed by the government in Tak Bai the same year. According to the spokesperson, Her Majesty wishes to express her complete solidarity with the Muslim population of the Thailand and show her intolerance of state-sponsored use of excessive force.

If scheduling permits, Her Majesty will then visit the grave of Suwichai Rodwimut, the decorated Crime Suppression officer who was shot in the face by Duangchalerm Yubamrung, son of current Interior Minister Chalerm Yubamrung, in front of 40 witnesses who were later intimidated into recanting their testimony. Duang never served jail time and is currently working for the government. It is believed that Her Majesty hopes that keeping this case fresh in the minds of the Thai people will remind everyone how the patronage system in Thailand encourages injustice and abuse.

The Royal Household estimates that attending the funerals and memorials of just the 2,300 victims of Thaksin Shinawatra’s 2003 War on Drugs will take several years of Her Majesty’s time. However, despite the enormous commitment, the Queen remains adamant. “It’s crucial during these difficult times that the Royal Family show moral leadership,” explained the spokesperson. “She wouldn’t want to show any favoritism. That would be wrong.”

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