Thai Foreign Minister Appeases Muslims, US By Opposing Free Speech, Religious Tolerance

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BANGKOK – Amidst a growing crisis between the United States and Muslims angry over a low-budget American-made film insulting the prophet Muhammed, Foreign Minister Surapong Tovichakchaikul took a moderate and diplomatic stance by staunchly denouncing both free speech and religious tolerance.

“The position of the Kingdom of Thailand is that we support the Muslim demand for censoring art, while also supporting the United States’ cultural marginalization of Islam,” he said in a prepared statement.

Surapong went on to cite Thailand’s long history of stifling free expression in fine art and mass media, including numerous instances of banning films that were deemed offensive to Thailand’s sacred institutions of Buddhism and monarchy.

“Just like our Muslim friends, we are terrified of human sexuality and completely in denial of the existence of homosexuality,” he added.

“As the proud state censors of movies like ‘Insects in the Backyard’ and ‘Syndromes and a Century,’ not to mention any non-hagiographic book about His Majesty The King, we would like to express our solidarity with Muslims worldwide.”

Surapong then reached out to the United States, whom he called a “long-term ally in both prosperity and regional stability,” by lauding their shared interest in containing the threat of Islam and encouraging callous insults against it.

“With the threat of terrorism greater than ever, the spectre of religious extremism cannot be ignored. And since our kingdom is 95% Buddhist, and our head of state is required to be a Buddhist, and the pillars of our nation are constantly being presented as nation, monarchy and religion, by which we mean Buddhism only, I’d like to remind our American friends that Thailand is as hostile to Islam as ever.”

Surapong’s remarks are seen as a shrewd but risky attempt to appease both the Muslim-dominated southern provinces of the nation as well as its largest Western military ally. Intense but peaceful protests at the US Embassy in Bangkok and US Consulate Chiang Mai have raised tensions between the groups, with Thai police maintaining order at both events.

US Ambassador to Thailand Kristie Kenney reiterated the strong bond between the two countries yesterday, saying “The Kingdom of Thailand will always be our friend, so long as its population continues to ignorantly stereotype Muslims as dirty, crazy extremists. That makes them just like us.”

Ahmed Khalif, a spokesperson for one of the Muslim protest groups, also expressed appreciation for Surapong’s comments.

“It seems Thailand is a nation of artistic and political repression, sexual repression, and hysterical reactionary mythology. So yeah, we’re cool.”

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