PYONGYANG – In the wake of the death of Kim Jong Il, North Korea’s political, military, cultural, and spiritual leader, the government of Thailand has offered its assistance to the people of North Korea during this difficult time of cult-idol transition.
“The North Koreans have known only one man, and one face, as their national symbol for many years,” said Foreign Minister Surapong Tovichakchaikul. “His passing is a shock to the entire population who adores him, and we believe that Thais are uniquely positioned to help during this time of need.”
The government will send a group of advisors and psychological specialists trained in mass grief management and cult-maintenance, who will be flying to Pyongyang tonight under special visas arranged by the North Korean government. Surapong confirmed that the North Korean military has specifically invited Thailand for this purpose, which he regarded as “a great honor” considering the xenophobic policies of the small, communist state.
Although details of the transition have not been revealed by the North Korean government, it is generally believed that Kim will be succeeded by his third son, Kim Jong Un, who was unofficially selected for the supreme leadership last year by being appointed to certain party and military posts that his father also earned just prior to his own ascension to command in 1994 after the death of his father Kim Il Sung.
“North Korea has an established system for succession, which ensures a smooth passing of power and the preservation of the structure,” explained Surapong. “It’s a system that we in Thailand understand and greatly respect.”
According to Dr Burapun Darasamalap, professor of sociology and one of the team leaders, the key to helping North Korea through the crisis is to understand the mindset that is unique to North Koreans.
“North Koreans have been told from birth that everything good in their world comes from their Supreme Leader, who is usually referred to as ‘Dear Leader’ or even ‘Dear Father.’ This combination of family intimacy with paternal respect creates a childlike state of attachment.”
Dr Burapun noted that this childlike attachment to their “Dear Father” was an important part of the North Korean’s system of control.
“No one in North Korea ever questions whether their Dear Father really did all the great things that the state-controlled news says he does, or whether maybe the regime of the Dear Father is responsible for the famine and ecological disasters that have caused suffering. North Koreans are mentally incapable of questioning the virtue of their Dear Leader, and by extension the corrupt generals and failed systems that surround him.”
According to Burapun, the arrested intellectual and social development of North Koreans should help make the transition to the Kim Jong Un regime easier.
“After decades of depending on a god-like hero figure to lead their lives, North Koreans are literally incapable of living without one,” he said. “Whether or not Kim Jong Un is competent is irrelevant. He could be a serial womanizer, a murderer even. The North Koreans will still call him Father.”
Although the exact details of the Thai advisory team’s work is classified, it is believed that they will provide general support in managing the international media, crafting communications to the North Korean people, and planning an elaborate ritualistic funeral. Additional support may come in the form of whitewashing Kim Jong Un’s past and rewriting the family history of the Kims to make them seem more divine and mystical.
“To bear witness to an entire nation grieving for a single man they know so little about is a truly awesome and unique experience,” said another member of the team. “I feel like North Korea and Thailand have cemented a special bond which will last a long, long time.”
