BANGKOK — The Assets Scrutiny Committee (ASC) yesterday declared that the evil regime of ousted Prime Minister Thaksin Shinawatra was guilty of “thought corruption.”
“Thaksin and his cronies thought many bad thoughts,” said Sak Korsaengruang, the committee’s spokesman. “This may be tough to prove in court, but we believe we have a solid case.”
According to Sak, in 2005 Thaksin filtered billions of baht from Interior Ministry coffers into an offshore bank account, in his mind.
The elaborate scam involved fake names, a paper trail that would outsmart legal experts and even the Russian mafia, who, Thaksin imagined, would protect his family in case of emergency.
The major breakthrough came after repeated failures to build a case against the former prime minister. But after the ASC called in a mind reader to look at thousands of hours of secret surveillance taken of Thaskin in his Charan Sanit Wong home, the agency caught Squareface red-handed.
The mind reader said that Thaksin would often lie in bed for hours at night going over the plan in his head. “His wife was right by his side also thinking evil thoughts,” said the mind reader. “Both of their minds were completely corrupted.”
The TSC says the video evidence is incontrovertible. “We finally have him,” boasted Sak. “The other cases against Thaksin pale in comparison to this. In one video, he is shown laughing to himself after inventing a brilliant ploy to cover his tracks. And in another tape we’ve caught him having an imaginary conversation with the Interior Minister about payoffs.”
The case will be unprecedented in Thai history but the courts have been told to tackle corruption at its roots—the brain. Legal experts said that as long as prosecutors could prove the thoughts were real then Thaksin could be found guilty according to a new law just passed by the National Legislative Assembly.
Prominent legal scholar and NLA speaker Meechai Ruchuphan explained the reasoning behind the law: “My wife always says when she catches me looking at other women, ‘Don’t even think about it.’ By the same logic, Thaksin and Pojaman can be convicted for thought corruption.”
