Bangkok — ICONSIAM’s “Amazing Thailand Countdown 2025” hasn’t even begun, but it’s already being branded by the Western world as a “cultural heist” of epic proportions.
Nestled along the banks of the Chao Phraya River, Bangkok’s ICONSIAM River Park plaza is no stranger to the spotlight. A crown jewel of Thai retail opulence and architectural grandeur, the space attracts droves of visitors from around the world who flock to its luxury shops, cultural exhibits, and envy-inducing views of the iconic river. And now, as ICONSIAM plans to usher in the Gregorian New Year with a three-day celebration, Western leaders are pointing their finger at what they call Thailand’s “reckless act of calendrical double-dipping.”
In a hastily prepared joint communique issued from several Western countries’ offices of cultural affairs, and that they all forgot to sign, Bangkok’s countdown event was accused of “willfully flaunting its alternative calendar” by attempting to ring in the year 2025 yet again. “As a country where the Buddhist calendar is already in the year 2567 BE, Thailand celebrated the year 2025 way back in 1482, probably with a better party, too,” complained one spokesperson from the United States. “But now, they’re back, trying to join in on our 2025 festivities. It’s a shameless attempt to steal our New Year thunder.”
“Double Dipping” on 2025: More Than Just Cultural Faux Pas?
The accusations come as ICONSIAM prepares for a celebration that is already generating astronomical hype. With K-pop sensation Lalisa “Lisa” Manobal from Blackpink set to perform and eco-friendly fireworks (rumored to be visible from space, yet somehow dolphin-safe), Bangkok’s countdown is expected to draw nearly 20 million viewers in person and through streaming.
“Of course they’re mad,” said ICONSIAM’s Managing Director, Suboj Chaiwatsirikul, at a press conference. “ICONSIAM’s countdown will be the New Year’s event of the century. We have Lisa, eco-fireworks, and a crowd of millions! This is a celebration for everyone, and frankly, no wonder some people are jealous.”
Chaiwatsirikul did not hold back in addressing the so-called “double-dipping” allegations. “Look, when it comes to New Year celebrations, we’re not just re-using an old year like it’s a Thai takeaway container. We’re Thai-fusing 2567 BE and 2025 CE together for the most extraordinary New Year experience ever. Also, Westerners should know that if they start criticizing our calendar, they might have to think twice about all the fake Buddha statues collecting dust in their living rooms.”
“Amazing Thailand Countdown” to Feature Green Fireworks, Sustainability “Vaguely”
In what could be a secret source of the Western grievances, ICONSIAM has also announced that its festivities will outdo the typical Western extravaganza with an emphasis on sustainability. For three consecutive nights from December 29–31, the plaza will boast eco-friendly fireworks, built on high-tech designs that promise a low-carbon footprint—fireworks that Europe and America “can only dream of,” added Chaiwatsirikul with a grin.
A Western culture analyst, Dr. Felicity Bratton-Jones, theorized that the environmental angle may have further enflamed tensions. “By choosing to go green, Thailand is subliminally suggesting that the ‘ball-drop’ celebrations of New York are essentially eco-hazards in a flashy Times Square. The West is not used to the implication that their celebrations might lack a certain…eco-chicness.”
Western Nations: “We’ll Complain, But That’s About It”
Although several Western governments have issued their complaints, the actual impact on ICONSIAM’s plans is negligible. As of this report, no concrete steps will be taken to intervene in the festivities, apart from perhaps a few sternly worded tweets from minor political figures.
“This level of New Year’s showmanship is unheard of in the West, and we’re forced to admit, we’re a bit envious; I mean have you seen the website for this? They have a guaranteed banger on their hands,” sighed an unnamed source from the UK Parliament. “We don’t have Blackpink. We don’t have dolphin-friendly fireworks. We’re lucky if we even have clear skies for our New Year’s fireworks.”
ICONSIAM Press Conference Promises “Countdown of the Century”
At an upcoming press conference in November, ICONSIAM is expected to reveal further details of the 2025 countdown—specifically, how it intends to leverage Thailand’s enviable social media following to make this countdown the most globally watched event of its kind. Insiders hint that additional elements, such as holograms, laser shows, and even appearances from local celebrities dressed as mythological creatures, might be in the mix.
As Thailand marches onward with its plans, Bangkok locals are ecstatic. “Let them say what they want,” said one Bangkok resident. “Westerners had their chance with Big Ben, and all they’ve done for decades is let it chime. They’re just not ready for the spectacle that ICONSIAM is bringing. And besides, we invented New Year first—in the year 543 BCE.”
